Finding order in randomness. Finding randomness in order.

When you have a wound that's healing, and you touch it, you get a pleasant, satisfying feeling. It is difficult to describe, but touching a scab and playing with it and the feelings that it engenders are enjoyable in a way.  We play with our emotional wounds in a similar way. When we read a novel or watch a movie that tingles our scabs, it is actually the same kind of satisfying pain that we are experiencing. Writers, artists, musicians  - they are also touching their own scabs in some way when producing their work. And readers who read them are doing the same. The common thread is the shared pain - the shared scabs that we are all touching. And it is enjoyable and satisfying in a perverse kind of way.   I wonder how much of music, art, literature and their popularity is just people touching their own scabs. I would say a vast majority of it. Which also brings the question - if you don't have as many emotional wounds from the past, perhaps you are missing out on the ...

There are 2 worlds we as humans experience - the physical world governed by the laws of physics, and the mental world enabled by a physical object, namely our brain, but which gives rise to "worlds" that may or may not ever have a direct physical manifestation. All ideas and thoughts in our brains can be completely expressed in the physical world but many of them do not have direct physical manifestations. The creative interactions, evolution and improvements of ideas can only happen in one object in the universe that we know of - the human brain. This seemingly simple idea is probably one of the most important pieces of knowledge I have acquired in the last couple of years (I have David Deustch and his books/podcasts to thank for this). The world of ideas, knowledge is a different world altogether from the physical world. And there are many of these abstract worlds - mathematics, morality, art etc. And the theories that govern them are not physical i.e. they are beyond th...

I have been in my "head" a lot of my life. Intellectualizing everything. Having a largely analytical mind doesn't help with that. Not that it is all a bad thing - but life loses some flavor if I am in my head most of the time. The other day I was at the museum with a friend seeing a new exhibition. The first half of it, I was in my head - thinking what the artists were trying to express. Intellectualizing art.  Then I realized that is not the point of art. So for the next art installation I deliberately shut down my mind. I stopped thinking and all the chatter and just tried to feel. And it was a beautiful experience. I felt sadness, I felt fear, I even felt some excitement. And I didn't think. I just was there, experiencing.

My past has made me. It is what it is. I thank the good and the bad for it has molded me. It has made me into this unique creature that has never existed and will never will. This is me. The raw and the authentic. The whole and the broken. I am not perfect - very far from it. I feel like I have this hole inside me. And I don't know what to fill it with. I know nothing external can fill it. I have to fill it. But my attempts to fill it with things give rise to other beautiful things. To poems, writings, ideas and knowledge seeking. It takes me places. So why should I give it up. I am this way. I accept me. The good, bad and the disgusting. And I show it. If you don't like it, you are free to go. If you can't handle it, you are free to leave. But I am here. I will be around for me. Always. Till my last breath.

My shadow follows me everywhere I go. He is always there with me. He is dark, mysterious but also comforting in a way. He is the darkest when the light is the brightest. He is scared of the light, always hiding from it, using me as a shield. He doesn't know the light gives birth to him. Without the light, he wouldn't exist. But that is the nature of things. That is the nature of shadow. He cannot change it. I cannot change it. 

Humans developed language as a means of communicating with other tribe members. Language is one of the most important, if not THE most important, reason humans are so successful as a species. It enables us not only to communicate immediate information (e.g. there is a lion in that direction, don't go there) but also form and communicate intricate ideas (e.g. myths, religions). Yuval Hariri in his massively interesting book "Sapiens" talks about how what he calls "fiction" (i.e. stories we humans tell each other) enabled homo sapiens to co-operate in massive numbers (much more than the Dunbar limit of 150) and made us such a successful species. Language was critical in all of that.  I believe the advent of language was what gave the biggest boost to cultural evolution in humans. Humans are the only species that significantly evolve culturally as well as naturally. Cultural evolution is exponentially faster than natural evolution - we homo sapiens effectively ...

More and more I realise how much noise there is in the world. It permeates all aspects - science, philosophy, health, ideas, entertainment. Everything. And it reminds me that the world, and existence itself, is not fair. The best ideas don't necessarily get the attention they deserve. The best books aren't the most popular ones. The best movies are not necessarily seen by most people. I do understand that there is a bit of subjectivity to these things, but there is also a lot of objectivity as evidenced by history. And this is a bit sad, and does hold humanity back. I can also understand the reasons for this. It is because we are not rational beings, we didn't evolve to be rational. Our brains evolved to serve social functions more than anything. It's amazing when you think of it - the big powerful brain we have actually evolved to be so big and powerful solely so we could form relationships and work with other human beings. No wonder that relationships and social co...